Religious group claims new Reebok sneaker is the work of the devil

On their classic 1972 LP Exile on Main St., the rolling stones have a track called “I Just Wanna See His Face”, and the chorus goes something like this: “I don’t wanna talk/Talk about Jesus/I just wanna see his face.” Which is a pretty simple request, I think, if that’s what you’re interested in. Even still, this is not enough for some people. Religious groups — with their ever-flexing zeal — love to see biblical figures on all kinds of shit: houses, toasts, ultrasounds. Sometimes Jesus just needs to stretch his legs, so he walks around your neighborhood.

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Satan, however, has generally found refuge in the average teenager’s vinyl record collection (who could blame him?) That is, until now. Dare I say it, but Reebok may have made it easier to walk in Satan’s shoes, if that’s what you are in. Now, if you’re wondering, “What the hell is he talking about?“I get it. So let me fill in the blanks.

Footwear giant Reebok recently released their latest fashion sneaker, the Reebok x Maison Margiela Tabi Decortique. The website Sneakernews wrote of the new line, “Developed by creative director John Gallianothis technique deconstructs a room down to its architectural framework, removing what is not functionally necessary… which includes a number of top side panels and heels, each cut out.

Apparently much of the front of the shoe isn’t functionally necessary either, as the cutouts run down the center of the sneaker, making them look oddly like horns (or, as we’re about to learn it, at Baphomet feet). And since horns are traditionally found in abundance mainly on the antelope and El Diablo…. well, I’m sure now you see where this is leading. The holy-roller clique at Prophecy News clearly saw the sneaker as a threat to humanity, and they made that clear in a Facebook post.

“Reebok’s new sneakers have Baphomet goat feet,” the post read. “The rulers of this world are showing more and more openly and clearly who they worship. Be sure to open your eyes and don’t get caught up in their rituals. [via MetalSucks]

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Next time I meet Satan, I will ask His Darkness about the fit and comfort of his new line of shoes. I doubt they’re any better than a pair of Crocs, though. Also, what the heck and shoes anyway?

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